the truth is

so...the truth is this:

For some reason unbeknownst to me I have been "playing/trolling" on the computer for the past 3 hours.  I got some "cleaning" bug earlier today and scrubbed my kitchen and bathroom and managed to do all my laundry.  I did my school work, ran to the store, and still managed to waste the past 3 hours of my time sitting here on the computer listening to country music and browsing pictures online.  Matthew refuses to go lay down in his bed but insists on laying across the living room floor covered in a blanket with a pillow stating "im not tired!"

 ~whatever--hes tired~

As I listen to these songs I sit and think how many people really have the "life situations" that are depicted throughout music videos nowadays.  I mean--how many of you people have some half naked cowboy standing outside your house singing you a love song why you debate forgiving them?  HELLO! they are half naked and surrounded in flowers and candles--you better get your butt outside and join him in being half naked!  Or how many of us have really met our soul mate over produce at the grocery store?  And unfortunately knowing someone since kindergarten and growing up to marry them after playing in the sandbox for the past 20 years is not possible for me....There are few (actually none) people that I still speak to from elementary school much less the sandbox era.  

We moved---alot.  My dad was (well still is) in the Army.  Sometimes I wish that I had the life where I could say "we have been together since diapers" or "our moms were best friends growing up"---but I dont.  And neither will my son.  But ya know what--I have survived and therefore I think he will too.  I am a survivor in every aspect of life.  There are many lifestyle changes and situations that I have come out ahead in simply due to the fact that I am a survivor--and I chose to swim instead of sink.  

So the truth is--you are who you create.  You get out of situations what you put into them and you get can only achieve as high as you dream.  So dream big and dream high so that your life has no ceiling--no limit.   

 

im gonna love you through it

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it

Im gonna love you through it.

ya know what-its gonna be ok.  <-That line right there is simple yet powerful.  It says that you hear me and you understand but you are keeping your head up when I cant manage to look straight.  When I cant manage to sleep or get out of my car--you are there supporting my daily functioning.  

"thats what my love is for--Im here to take care of you and look out for you.  You spend so much worrying about others--im here to worry about you"

Those words spoke to me by the greatest man in the world-my husband.  My rock, my savior and my heart.  Even with thousands of miles between us he still manages to hold my heart in the palm of his hand.  

Would you walk to the edge of the ocean
Just to fill my jar with sand
Just in case I get the notion
To let it run through my hand.

Everyone needs someone like that.  And when all else fails, we also need our own yaya sisterhood.  Our own Goonies...once a goonie always a goonie.  People grow and people change but once you are in-you are in for life.  People that come into your life and stay.  People that would drive out of their way to make you get it together.  People that dont want you by yourself when you are sad---People that show up at your house, make you get dressed, and venture out into the day.  People that make you mad and crazy but you know that you would fall apart without their glue.  People that DO judge you--people that tell you the truth.  People that will let you drink two bottles of wine even though they know youll pay for it in the morning cause at that moment it makes you feel better. People that tell you when you are being a pain in the ass--even when it means you get mad because ya know what??  youll wake up in the morning and still love them..and still wanna call them and talk to them..

Those are the people that you keep around.  Those are the people that you better never forget to tell how much they mean to you and how impacting their presence is in your life.   

Whoever has been praying for me much have a direct line to the big man and to that person I thank you---no I owe you...