Ive failed you

Once again---I have failed you all...I apologize for the constant lapse in my writing.

In the last 3 weeks since I have last graced you with my presence (hah) much has happened. 

1.  I am currently a week and a a half away from RNR! YAYAYAYAY!!!

2.  On the topic of RNR Ive booked, paid for, and managed to get everything as ready as it is going to get--which was almost the end of me!

3.. Ive manage to weed out a lying, shady, untrustworthy "friend" from my life.  I mean, being friends with someone should not make you physically and mentally exhausted....which while i am on the topic of this "poisonous person" lets discuss "one-upping" or the "green mushroom" (from Mario-lol)

It is so aggravating and frustrating to never have the last word.  It is impossible to get a word in when someone else always has something more important to say.  Its exhausting knowing that no matter what illness, medical condition, rough personal life, crazy kids, crazy family, or medical emergency you have that one person ALWAYS has it worse!  And to rub salt in the wound---them "having it worse" is a lie.  Why??  Why??  Ill ask again--why??? Why cant you for once in your life just shut the hell up and give someone, ANYONE else the spotlight??  I am tired of having pitty parties for you. I am tired of hearing how you have it so much worse than everyone else.  I am tired of you.  

Maybe that's it??  Maybe this eye opening turn of events is fate.  Maybe its God's way of giving me a "get out of jail free card" because he knows just as well as I do that this will not end good.  This will not be pleasant and all you tend to do is bring me down.  I can no longer support you AND me...and sorry but I am pulling the selfish excuse.  I need to start putting my needs first...I can not longer babysit you and ensure you are happy while I sit here wishing that I was listening to nails across a chalk board rather than hear your voice...

Yes, yes that is it.

God is right.

And he knows all.

And he has managed to remove me from a situation before anything regrettable was said or done.

Thank you God.

You are the bomb.........dot com!

South of the Mason-Dixon

"Southern girls are God's gift to the entire male population. there is absolutely no woman finer than one raised below the mason-dixon line and once you go southern may the good Lord help you - you never go back"

There is an enchanting feeling that I get from driving down the street blaring my radio to Jason Aldean, Jake Owen, Blake Shelton, or Dierks Bentley.  I get a smile that cannot be matched elsewhere.  I think about my love.  And I think of home.  

and more recently I have been thinking about this:

 

On me.  Forever.

Not only does it feed into my infatuation with anchors but it means so much more.

"maybe some women arent meant to be tamed, maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with"-Marilyn Monroe

Until next time--keep that smile upon your pretty little face.

long time in the making...

Dear Eric Church and Keith Urban,

For some reason, unbeknownst to me completely, hearing you play on the ACMs has me missing home.  And has me missing my heart. And my family. And my friends...and everything else great about the South.  Why?  I am not sure--I have been thinking about it for at least 10 minutes now and I cant seem to put my finger on it.  

:/

It has also been brought to my attention that it has been nearly two months since writing in here...my appologies.  I have clicked to open this up and write a little something a few time but always change my mind at the last minute.  

I think that spring time is having the adverse affect on me.  I find myself being a little more down with the sunshine and melting show and beautiful days.  At least when it was gross outside I felt justified about staying in and not really getting outside and doing stuff.  Now there really is no excuse.  And what makes it worse is that it is soooo nice outside and I know that if my love was home we would be out ALL DAY doing stuff, finding something to get into, or something to see.  But instead, its just me.  Just me watching Matthew ride his bike in the driveway--by himself just longing for his daddy to be there.

BAH...enough of the pitty party.  Mr. Church and Mr. Urban if you could refrain from bringing tears to my eyes simply by playing the guitar that would be great.  I have 6 months left and I need to stay strong!